Insomnia is never pleasant.

Funny thing about insomnia is that no matter how much you try falling asleep, unless you consciously keep your eyes closed, they stay wide open. That makes it somewhat harder to fall asleep when you must constantly focus on keeping them shut.

It’s not that I’m not tired… My eyes ache, they are bloodshot, my skin is pale, I’m mildly euphoric and I truly am sleepy, yet all my efforts have failed miserably.  I could have total silence, the most comfortable bed in the world, my eyes would find themselves staring at the ceiling.

It’s the third day in a row when I catch the sun rise and I pray I could just faint in my bed and get a good decent sleep. To make matters worse, even in regular days when I can “successfully” sleep at night, it takes more than an hour to fall asleep, time I spend reflecting on all the random events and discussions I’ve had or even imagining scenarios, mostly unrealistic. You could say I get bored waiting to dream, so I do it consciously. At times, if there is someone else with me in the room, I pretend to be asleep so that they won’t interact with me in any way and won’t interrupt my long way towards sleeping.

I know many people that fall asleep as soon as they put their head on their pillow, I would give anything to see what’s that like. I can’t achieve that even after a good spliff, or two, or three. It is quite depressing…

Well, it’s 8:49 AM and that being said, only one thing remains for me to do:

-Coffee & Cigarettes.